Love and Marriage
by nyla jean
Summary: Ch 1 is set in June 1964 when Dean starts flying again. Ch 2 is a month later, and in true Pan Am form, a flashback. Ch 3&4 is set in Aug and involves Laura & Ted. Ch 5&6 continues into Sep. Ch 7 is Oct... Nearly the whole cast is present! Please review!
1. Chapter 1

There was a knock at the door.

Colette set her uniform hat down on a nearby table and fluffed her hair. She had just arrived in London for a brief layover. She hopped on one foot on her way to answering the door, first removing one heel, and then the other. She left them where they lay on the floor behind her, then tossed her jacket on the back of a nearby chair.

She opened the door to Dean's smiling face. He was leaning against the doorframe, as if he'd been waiting for her.

"Hello Miss," he said.

"Captain." There was a brief pause. "What a surprise."

"Can I come in?"

She raised an eyebrow at him and let him into the foyer.

"I don't have long," she said, as she shut the door and followed him inside. "I'm expecting my husband any minute."

"Yeah?" Dean crowded her personal space, nearly backing her up into the door.

"You may have heard, he just return to work after a brief… hiatus," Colette stepped closer to Dean, ran her hands up the front of his captain's jacket, and wound them around the back of his neck. "I'm going to celebrate with him."

"Hmmm." Dean put his hands on her hips and pulled her solidly against him. "Interesting that you're a married stewardess. I thought Pan Am didn't allow that."

"They don't." She gave a little shrug and smiled coyly as her fingers played in his hair, but her flushed face gave her away.

"How do you work around your marital status?" he asked, eyes twinkling. His face was inches from hers.

"Well it's a secret marriage. It keeps things… interesting." She raised her eyebrows suggestively.

"Your husband is a lucky man," Dean said, finally succumbing to the urge to kiss her. He felt her head tilt up, her lips answering his kiss, her body moving against his and his own body responding to her, and he knew what he said was true. He was lucky to have her. He brought a hand up into her hair, cupping her head, loving the feel of the soft strands in his fingers. Loving her.

"He's pretty wonderful, too." She said in a breathy voice that made heat rush all over his body. "And irresistible," she added. She started working at removing their clothing, and he could feel her fingers brush his skin as he shrugged out of his jacket.

"I think our first flight was a success, don't you?" He grabbed the hand those fingers belonged to and kissed them. He loved her hands. "Though I don't know how I made it six hours without doing that."

She paused in her work for a moment and looked at him with concern seeping through the passion in her eyes. "Dean, are you still sure? You could get fired."

"I'm not ready to stop flying with you," he said, moving on to nuzzling her neck and maneuvering them to the bed. "Are you?"

"Not at all. I just don't want you to get into trouble because of me."

"I'm used to it," he teased. "But, does being my wife" – he beamed when he said that and her heart did a little flutter – "in any way make you less capable of doing your job?"

He fell back onto the bed, pulling her on top of him, and she laughed.

"You sound like Maggie."

His breath caught in his throat when he looked at her amused face; he wasn't sure he'd ever get use to the way she made him feel.

"Maggie has a point. And you, Mrs. Lowrey, are very sexy when you worry about me."

She touched the side of his face, her thumb running lazily over his dimple, and a rush of emotion swept over her. She whispered something he didn't understand in French, followed by something he did, "I love you."

He rolled them over so he was on top of her and smiled at her. "I love you, too."

"You are going to make me late for debriefing, you know," she said as she wrapped her arms around him and brought him down for another kiss.

"I know."


	2. Chapter 2

July 1964

Dean had been watching Colette from across the bar. Debriefing seemed to be taking longer than usual, even the excitement of Monte Carlo and the Grand Prix wasn't enough to distract him for long. Once he noticed the other girls breaking off to head to the casino or flirt with racecar drivers, he made his way over to her table. He came up behind her put a hand on her shoulder then ran his hand across the back of her neck before he sat down in the chair next to her.

She shuddered a little from his touch and gave him a slow smile. "And what did you think of the cars this year, Captain Lowrey?"

He leaned in close so only she could hear him. "Not nearly as exciting as my wife."

"Ah, there is nothing quite like being compared to a fine automobile."

He winked at her. "Dance with me?"

She gave a quick look around the bar. Most of the crew had left, but still…

"Come on," he reached over and grabbed her hand off the table. "They all know we're together anyway."

She laughed and let him lead her to the music. "I suppose you're right. And I never regret dancing with you."

He lifted his eyebrows and grinned at her as if to say "Oh, yeah?" then pulled her in close. "Remember when I asked you to marry me?"

"_Oui_," she sighed, melting into him, and let her mind wander back a few months…

…

They had spent the day looking for her brother just outside Paris, and after weeks of what seemed like one dead end leading to another, she finally had a promising lead. Colette had been so excited, but there was nothing she could follow up on immediately so they had returned to Paris for the night. Dean suggested they wander the streets for a while and she agreed, her emotions bubbling too much to allow for sleep anyway.

They walked along the streets, hand-in-hand, talking and teasing as they always did. Somehow they'd wandered to the same spot where they'd gotten lost last June. Where they'd had their first dance.

"Do you remember this place?" Dean asked, his eyes searching hers.

"Of course."

"Dance with me?" She nodded and he gathered her in his arms and they swayed to the music playing from somewhere in the distance. He said a silent thank you to Paris for providing the music for them. His heart started to pound. Now or never.

"We're not lost anymore, are we?" he asked, his voice full of meaning.

She smiled and shook her head. "No, we are not lost."

The evening lights were twinkling around them; the sounds and smells of Paris surrounded them. It was cool but not cold; spring was on its way. It was a beautiful March night. They were both clear-headed, and while they'd been on a mission to find her brother, they'd already found each other. It was the perfect time.

Dean slowed their dance and leaned back so he could look into her eyes.

"Colette… _je t'aime_," she smiled at this. He'd heard it so much from her that he pronounced it perfectly, and it made her heart melt for him to say I love you in French. "I do," he said earnestly, bringing her hands down from his shoulders so he could hold them in his. He absentmindedly ran his thumbs over her skin as he spoke. "I love walking into a room and seeing you there, I love the sound of your laughter and the way your eyes light up when you smile, I love that I can talk to you about anything." Her hands were shaking as he held them tight, and he wondered for a moment if his own hands were the ones shaking. He took a fortifying breath. "Colette…" he lowered himself down to his knee.

She was staring at him, her eyes wide with wonder. "What are you doing?"

"Just a minute," he laughed up at her. "Colette… will you marry me?"

She could feel her heart thudding against her chest, and the city lights were blurring for some reason. The people in the streets of Paris had stopped around them to hear her answer but she was suddenly speechless. So she nodded her head enthusiastically, felt tears drop down her face, and pulled him up. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him until she could form the words. "_Oui_. Yes. Yes, of course I will."

Dean hugged her tight, then lifted her up and spun her around – a classic romantic move for the streets of the City of Love and Lights. "I'm going to make you as happy as you make me," he vowed as he set her down.

"You already do. _Je t'aime_, I love you," she whispered against his cheek.

The people of Paris, always loving a bit of romance, called out congratulations in French and offered them applause. A man selling roses stopped to throw a few in their direction, and someone else walked away singing a love song.

Dean dug in his jacket for a second and produced a gold ring with a center diamond surrounded by two slim baguette-shaped diamonds on either side. He slipped it on her finger. She sighed as she held it up to the light to watch it sparkle.

"It's beautiful, Dean. _Merci_."

"You're beautiful," he told her, running his thumb along the fingers of the hand she was admiring. "Maybe you can keep it hidden in your girdle when you're working."

He said it with a straight face but Colette's laughter rang out in the night, and she took his arm as they continued wandering the streets.

"Why, Captain, are you suggesting…"

"A secret marriage," he finished for her. "So we can keep flying together."

"One long honeymoon," she said, thoughtfully, considering the possibilities.

"Yeah," he agreed, looking into her eyes. "But only if you want to. If you want to stop flying…"

"What would you do on all those layovers without me?"

"Be a lonely, sad man, missing his wife," he told her honestly.

"I can't let that happen," she said with a pouty, sympathetic shake of her head. Then she added, "I would miss you, too, _mon amour_."

"And when we're ready for children –"

"Our daughter, Catherine," she interrupted, smiling and remembering the name he'd decided on for their daughter after their first date.

He face crinkled up with a smile that bespoke his happiness. "Yeah, Catherine. Who will look exactly like you. We'll figure something out when she comes along."

"I imagine she'll be a well-traveled young lady."

"I imagine so," he agreed.

"It sounds like you've been planning this for a while, Captain," she said, amazed to her core by his thoughtfulness and his love, and the romance of the entire situation.

"You have no idea," he told her. "Remember when you asked to fly the plane?"

She gave him a skeptical look, and let out a quick laugh. "_Mon dieu_. You really were that fond of me…" He looked confused, but his confusion quickly evaporated when she said, "Dean, we can keep it from Pan Am, but we'll have to tell your parents."

She laughed at his exaggerated groan and hugged his arm tight. "I love you," she said, so filled with happiness she thought she might burst.

…

"And how are you finding your honeymoon so far?" she asked after letting the memories wash over her.

"It's better than I imagined, and this is just the beginning." They moved into a somewhat shadowy area around the corner from the jukebox "I wonder if anyone will be scandalized if I kiss you right here? We are on our honeymoon, after all."

"Playing with fire, Captain?"

"Absolutely."

"Well, then," she said with a shrug and kissed him. A sultry, hot kiss, with swirling tongues and biting lips that went on and on, a befitting kiss for Monte Carlo.

"We're leaving," he said as they broke apart.

"So soon?" she feigned shock. "Don't you want to stay and talk Formula One? I think I saw Sanjeev at the bar…" She trailed off as he pulled her out the side door and in the direction of their hotel.

"Sanjeev can wait until the flight home," he told her. "I have a honeymoon to continue."

She laughed as they snuck away from the bar, their friends, and the world in general.


	3. Chapter 3

August 1964

Colette could feel Laura staring at her ring. While she'd laughed at Dean's suggestion initially, she'd actually done exactly what he said; she'd carefully sewn a small pocket inside her girdle, near her heart, where she kept her ring while she was in uniform, but she wore it almost all the time otherwise. The other girls knew; Kate, Laura and Maggie had been at the wedding, and they were discrete about the couple's clandestine marriage.

Colette and Laura had spent the most time flying together this year. Maggie had started working with an underground women's activist group and took time off here and there as needed for the cause, somehow she had enough money to stay afloat despite her frequent time off; and Kate had abruptly decided to take a leave of absence from Pan Am and return to school. She'd told them she'd applied to school a while ago, but since she wasn't sure if she'd be accepted or not she hadn't said anything earlier. It turned out she was accepted and she was off to Virginia to study "government" and "world geography" not even two weeks into 1964. She had been vague, but she seemed happy and excited so it was impossible not to feel that way for her.

With Maggie and Kate here and there, Dean suspended for the first half of the year, and Ted's erratic schedule and eventual promotion the Clipper Majestic crew had evolved quite a bit since her first flight in April 1963; only Colette and Laura had seen it through consistently, but that wasn't to say that their personal lives hadn't undergone big changes.

Laura had moved into Kate's apartment while Kate was away at school and had gotten along as best she could with the hand she'd been dealt. Colette's heart still broke for Laura and Ted and their unfortunate situation. She still remembered getting the call from Maggie to come out with them only a couple days into the New Year...

…

January 3, 1964

Colette met Laura and Maggie at a smoky, loud nightclub in the city where she and Maggie spent most of the night keeping Laura from doing something she would regret. This involved keeping her distracted by dancing, singing and drinking and not mentioning Ted or men or love at all, except to once in a while berate them all with a long list of colorful words they'd picked up from the sailors they'd brought home last September. And drinking. A lot.

Colette showed up at Dean's apartment in the early hours of the morning after that night out. She was less than sober, probably the least sober he'd ever seen her, and he found it entirely amusing. It wasn't the first time she'd come here after a night out with Maggie.

"You're always showing up drunk on my doorstep," he teased her.

"Your apartment is closer to Maggie's than mine," she'd explained, but really she'd just wanted to see him. They'd only reconciled a few days ago but it was already like they'd never been apart. Truth be told, they hadn't been apart much since ringing in 1964, but it was the first time she'd been back to his place.

"I'm glad you're here," he'd told her, and helped her stumble her way into his apartment. "Where have you been?" he'd asked with amusement in his voice.

She'd told him that Laura had found out earlier in the day that Ted and Amanda were getting married after all. She guessed Dean already knew all about it, and wondered if he had been out with Ted as he smelled slightly of whiskey and cigarettes himself; she couldn't help wanting to wrap herself around him and inhale, but she wanted to ask about Ted first.

"What did you know?" she asked, holding on to his arm.

He told her about his conversation with Ted on New Year's Eve, how Ted was devastated but he didn't have a choice. Ted was going to be a father and he was going to marry Amanda – soon.

"_Mon dieu_," she'd said, bringing her free hand to her swirling head and feeling for her friends. Her other hand tightened around Dean's arm when a dark thought occurred to her. "This could have happened to us," she whispered. She closed her eyes, gulped, and asked, "Please tell me you… used protection."

"Of course." Even if he hadn't Dean wasn't sure he'd be able to act as nobly as Ted in this situation. If it was a choice between Colette and an unexpected child with Bridget from that ill-thought out night in London, he'd couldn't see himself walking away from Colette again. But he understood Ted's unique family situation. Walking away from his child with Amanda, the daughter of his parents' best friends, was not an option.

"You never did with me." He would have laughed at her statement if not for the serious concern on her face when she said that.

"You're different," he told her to which he received a sharply arched eyebrow.

"Different? From your _ex-fiance_?"

"Yeah, you actually _are_ the mother of my future children," he said with a suggestive smile. "And you told me that first time that you 'take a pill.' " He winked as he used her own words on her.

"Don't try to charm me right now, _Capitaine_," she put her hands against his chest and looked up into his eyes. Focused as best as she could at holding his gaze, though it required some effort. "I don't know what I'd do if I lost you like that," she told him quietly, feeling overwhelmingly heartbroken for her friend.

"You aren't going to lose me," he told her, staring back at her intently, and tightening his grip on her. "I'm not letting you go."

She sighed and leaned against him. The world was a little wobbly and so were her emotions, but she knew one thing for certain. "_Je t'aime_, Dean."

He ran his hands over her hair and down her back and pulled her tight against him. He'd never get tired of hearing her say that. 'I love you, too," he said, still amazed and forever grateful that she was with him, and knowing he'd do whatever it took to keep her there forever.

…

Intertwined with Laura's heartbreak at the beginning of the year, Colette had started looking for her brother. It was mostly phone calls at first, which were tricky to orchestrate at times due to the time difference and lack of information, not to mention her work schedule. She hadn't been able to make it to France yet, but they had a flight to Paris end of January and she was hopeful that she would find more information then.

"What's wrong?" Dean came into the living room to see her rubbing at her temples and looking defeated.

She responded in quick, animated French, and his chest constricted with emotion for her.

He gave her a little smile and smoothed her hair to comfort her "I didn't understand any of that. How can I help you?"

She looked up at him, like she was seeing him in the room for the first time. "Oh."

She explained how she'd been on the phone with the orphanage, how nothing was leading to anything yet. Her brother's name had been changed just as hers had, except he had been given another new first and last name after being adopted by his new family. The nun who'd been in charge of adoptions at the time had passed away a while ago, and all the forms were wartime forms that required time to obtain and sort through. She had a trip to Paris coming up, but it wasn't until the end of January. She was frustrated and another week seemed like a long time to wait.

She looked so forlorn that he wanted to gather her up and hug her tight, to promise that they'd find her brother and everything would be all right.

"We'll get it figured out," he promised, kissing her head.

…

Ted finally cornered Laura at the airport before their flight to Paris. It had been a couple weeks since he'd seen her as she'd abruptly changed her schedule early in the month. She'd told Pan Am it had to do with her photography classes, but he guessed it was because she was avoiding him, not that he blamed her.

_He looks terrible, like a tortured man_, she thought, and she felt both sad for him and glad he was suffering simultaneously. _I really am a terrible, spiteful person_.

"How are you?" he asked, searching her eyes.

"I'm fine, thank you," she told him with frosty politeness. She understood his situation, her heart was broken because of it, but there was no sense making themselves miserable by spending time together. She needed to get away from him.

Thankfully she didn't even need to think of a way out of their conversation or to avoid him on the flight, as she heard a familiar voice call out a greeting and strangely enough considered herself lucky for the day.

"Good morning, Miss Cameron," Captain Thorton tilted his hat in her direction as he walked by Laura and Ted on his way to the plane.

"Captain," she called back. "Looks like Dean's replacement is here," she said to Ted and nearly giggled when she noticed his eyes roll to the ceiling. "See you on board," and she made her way to the plane, as casually as could considering her knees were shaking.

She was grateful that Colette had asked her to accompany her and Dean to the countryside during their layover. "Time for you to see more of France," Colette had told her. Maybe helping Colette search for her brother would finally distract her from the shredded, empty feeling that haunted her the past few weeks.

_New York to Paris_

Dean saw Ted's eyes following Laura serving drinks back in economy. He felt for his friend, it wasn't so long ago he was doing the same thing with Colette.

"You have to leave her alone," He nodded in Laura's direction. "Trust me, I've been there."

"Never quite like this." Ted sighed, putting his coffee down on the counter and running his hands through his hair.

"You're right. You have more reason to back off," he gave Ted a sympathetic but pointed look. "It'll kill you but it's the kindest thing to do – for both of you."

"Yeah." Ted set down his coffee, and turned in the direction of the cockpit. "It's a riot up there without you."

"Oh, I'm sure. I'm sorry to be missing it."

"Thank God for Sanjeev and his pearls."

Dean laughed. "Four more months. I have a lot to do between now and then." He said, glancing in Colette's direction.

"Find her brother?"

"That's the first thing. Then…" he hesitated not wanting to be insensitive to Ted's situation.

"You're thinking of marrying her, aren't you?" Ted guessed.

"More than thinking," Dean said.

Ted groaned. "I don't want to know," he said, too tormented by his own unwanted impending nuptials to think about anyone else's plans for romance and wedded bliss.

"Good luck up there," Dean patted Ted on the shoulder as returned to his seat and his friend headed back into the cockpit.

"Yeah. See you in Paris."

…

February 1964

From that fist drunken night out Colette and Maggie had taken turns watching out for Laura, in whatever city they were in, just in case. The timing with Kate leaving so soon after the New Year hadn't been ideal, especially considering Ted and Amanda married in early February, sooner than originally planned.

Dean, of course, had been invited to Ted's wedding. He asked Colette to come with him, but as much as she liked Ted, she couldn't. Dean had returned full of whiskey and romance. He lay in bed next to Colette that night and asked her to move in with him.

"Are you serious or is this the whiskey talking?" she asked him, studying his face.

He laughed and ran his hand down her arm and collected her fingers with his when he reached the bottom. "If not for the whiskey I wouldn't have been brave enough to ask you for fear of you saying no," he'd confessed.

"I'll think about it while I'm away this week," she promised.

"You're going to miss me so much you'll want to move in by the time you get back."

"You sound very sure of yourself," she teased.

"I am," he said, leaning in for a kiss. "I'm sure I'll miss you," he told her.

"I will miss you, too, _mon amour_," She played with the hair at the back of his neck, smiling when he shuddered as she ran her fingers through it. "Maybe you can start packing my things while I'm gone?"

"Have you made up your mind already?" He asked against her cheek. "Isn't that a little fast for you?"

"I might have," she said, wrapping her arms around his waist. "Don't make me regret my decision," and she pulled him on top of her, silencing him for the night.

…

The next day Colette, Laura and Maggie were enroute to Spain.

"How's Laura?" Colette asked Maggie, casting worried glances in Laura's direction. "Did she see the paper this morning?"

Maggie's mouth turned down. "She hasn't mentioned Ted once but I know she knows. Help me keep an eye on her in Madrid, will you? I may have to run out for a while."

"Of course." Colette said, noticing Maggie's eyes following Captain Broyles as he headed to the first class lounge. She'd also noticed that he'd been on Maggie's flights more often than not these days.

"And Broyles? Should I keep an eye on him, too?"

Maggie gave a dark laugh and shook her head. "No, we have a … business arrangement. No heart strings tied up there." Colette wasn't so convinced, but she didn't press the issue.

Coincidentally George was at the same cantina the girls were at for debriefing that night in Madrid and Colette wasn't the only one to notice.

"Oh, there's Captain Broyles," Laura announced, and with the courage of a couple margaritas she set her aim on him. "I'm going to go say hello."

Colette and Maggie watched Laura bounce over to George and flirt for several minutes before excusing herself to the lavatory, than Maggie moved in. She was no idiot, she'd known Laura had been attracted to Broyles since meeting him on that eventful trip to Moscow, but Ted distracted her. Maybe now it was time for Broyles to distract Laura, to help her recover and maybe even expand her horizon a little.

"You need to watch out for her," she told George with meaning as she approached him. "She's rebounding. Be her rebound."

"This isn't a game of basketball, Maggie," he said, but Maggie didn't give him another chance to talk.

"Look, she's going to rebound with someone tonight. The man she loves got married two days ago. Better you than one of these creeps." She put a hand on his arm, and set her wide, serious glare on him. "And you and I? We have a professional relationship. I'm a big girl." He scoffed at that but she ignored him. "Take care of Laura." She ordered, moving off just before Laura returned.

"What did you say to him?" Colette asked when Maggie returned.

"Oh, I told him to keep an eye on her, that she's heartbroken and an easy target."

Colette nodded and kept her questions about Maggie's relationship with Broyles to herself. Much to everyone's relief nothing ever became of Laura and Broyles, in fact, he stopped flying with them much at all as February came to a close, and Colette wondered if Maggie's 'business arrangement' with him had come to an end as well. But there was no telling with Maggie.


	4. Chapter 4

August 1964

Colette dragged her thoughts back to the present where she and Laura were on layover in Rio, enjoying the break from the oppressive heat that is August in New York and spending the day on Brazil's iconic Copacabana beach. But it was Laura's stare and not the sun that was burning Colette's hand.

"Something wrong, _Bebe_?"

"Just something on my mind," Laura admitted, dragging her gaze away from Colette's ring with a sigh. "Have you seen him?" she asked hesitantly.

Colette tilted her head, and removed her big sunglasses to look at her friend. She knew Laura was referring to Ted, with the recent birth of his son she didn't blame Laura for wondering.

Her eyes full of sympathy, she answered. "_Oui_, a couple of days before we left."

Laura nodded, closed her eyes, and turned her face to the sun. They hadn't seen or talked about Ted much lately; he'd recently been promoted to Captain, and accepted a new assignment to so he could be closer to home, but today, sitting on the beach freckled with the small heads of children, her curiosity got the better of her. "And? How is he?"

"Fatherhood suits him," Colette told her, seeing no point in denying the truth. "The baby is precious, and Ted glows when he looks at him." She paused, wondering how much of the truth was hers to tell, but Laura was her friend and she deserved to know. "I'm not sure I can say the same about when he looks at Amanda," she said quietly.

Laura let out a rush of air, and shook her head. "I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry."

Colette covered Laura's hand with hers. "I'm sorry, _Bebe_."

"No, it's okay, I asked. I wanted to know." She looked out across the expanse of water. She wished she could be more like Maggie, who was always so casual about her relationships, and let it go. But here she was, one broken engagement and one broken heart later, still wondering about the man she'd lost and still wishing circumstances had been different. "Ugh. I feel like a terrible person for being jealous of a baby. I just need to get over it."

Colette nodded understandably. "A broken heat is not always so quick to mend. Sometimes we do extreme things to escape the feeling."

"What did you do?" Laura asked, knowing her friend's heart had been broken many more times than her own, and wondering how she's survived it. She'd played the heartbreaker, but the other side was so much more difficult to muddle through.

"Me? Besides almost move to a foreign country and marry a prince?"

"Ah, in that case you were both the heartbroken and the heartbreaker," Laura laughed, but Colette's next words surprised her.

"I almost transferred to the Hong Kong base."

"What? Are you serious?" Laura looked at her with shock. Colette had never told her about putting in for a transfer, and she found herself oddly comforted to hear that; she'd toyed with the idea of moving far, far away herself. "So what happened?" she asked.

Colette groaned, thinking back. "Dean was not very happy with me."

….

Late February 1964

Dean had gone to Operations under the guise of finishing up some paperwork he'd been assigned during his suspension, but really it was because Colette was returning today and he couldn't wait to see her. Four days had seemed like a lifetime.

He was waiting for her by his car when she walked out of the terminal.

"Hi," he said, grabbing her attention.

"_Bonjour, _Dean." Her smile was so bright he nearly melted on the spot. He couldn't take his eyes off her as she headed his way. God, he'd missed her.

"Need a ride home?"

She nodded and squeezed his arm when she reached him, though she really wanted to drop her bags and hug him tight. It had been a long four days away.

"What's that?" he asked, noticing a white envelope in her hand when he reached over to take her bags and put them in the trunk.

She looked at him for a long moment, than down at the envelope when he walked back over to her. "My request for transfer has been approved. For Hong Kong." She felt him tense beside her at her words, and she didn't have to look at him to know that he was clenching his jaw.

"Tell them you changed your mind."

"Can I do that?" she looked up at him again, her eyes wide and unsure. "It says I've been reassigned starting March 15."

"The hell you are." His chest was tight and he felt a rush of adrenaline while he waited for her to disagree.

"Do I have a reason to stay?"

"Hell, yes, you have a reason to stay!" The words came out louder and harsher than he expected. She grimaced, and he immediately felt bad.

"So I'll tell them I must stay for my… boyfriend?" Her eyes were searching his, silently asking him for something.

"What is this? High school?" He took her arm and led into the car. He closed the door, leaned over her and said in a low voice, "For the record, I'm more than just your boyfriend."

She let out a breath, feeling shaky. "Maybe we should define our relationship," she suggested when he got in next to her. "So I can let Pan Am know."

"Damn it, Colette, I'm not kidding." He glanced at her, so serious and possessive he made her heart thud in her chest.

"I know, I'm sorry." She said quietly, and looked away, blinking, and tapped the envelope against her leg. "I was desperate when I did this. I didn't want to stay here… with you and Bridget." She could feel his eyes on her but she couldn't look at him, she was sure hers were starting to pool a bit around the edges.

He felt a stab of guilt at her words. "I'm sorry, too," he told her, putting his arm around her and giving her a squeeze. "We'll figure it out." He wouldn't say this to her, but he'd rather she give up Pan Am entirely than lose her halfway across the world.

…

"Perhaps it is time for a swim?" Colette asked, knowing how much Laura liked the water and wondering if she was in need of a change of scenery.

"Maybe in a little bit," Laura said, readjusting herself on her towel. She glanced around the miles of people and beach. "We should stay here until Maggie gets back. I hope she hurries. I want one of those cold teas with lime."

Colette smiled. "Maggie is very good at ordering drinks nearly everywhere."

"Maggie's also been known to get arrested in Rio de Janeiro," Laura muttered, and Colette laughed. "There's no telling what's keeping her."

A shadow fell over them then, much too big to be Maggie's.

"Hello, ladies," Dean's familiar voice washed over Colette like a warm wave.

"Captain," they echoed, and Colette smiled up at him, her happiness at seeing him written all over her face.

Laura excused herself as Dean settled in on the sand next to Colette, deciding she needed a quick swim after all.

"How is she?" he asked, motioning in Laura's direction.

Colette looked at him for a moment, wondering if he'd report back to Ted. "Curious about the baby, but moving on."

Dean nodded and looked at Colette thoughtfully. "Poor Ted," he said with a shake of his head. "I'd be in despair without the wife to love, too." His gaze raked over her as his thumb did the same over the back of her hand.

"Maybe in time he and Amanda will learn to love each other," Colette said thoughtfully. "And if not, at least they make a beautiful family."

He twisted her ring on her finger with his thumb. "I keep thinking about how beautiful you looked holding Ted's baby," he told her.

"He threw up on me!" she laughed.

"You wore it so well." She elbowed him in his side and he grabbed her up in his arms and kissed the side of her head.

"I'm going to get churros. And coffee. I missed breakfast," he said, nuzzling her hair for a minute.

She brought a hand up to the side of his face, holding him close. "A bad habit of yours," she teased, knowing she was to blame.

"Mmmm hmmm, too many distractions in my hotel room," he said into her ear.

"You really should speak with hotel management about that," her voice was a little breathy as he kissed the skin behind her ear.

He laughed and released her. "Nah, I've grown very fond of my distraction, and besides, she'll only follow me home." He winked at her and brushed the sand off himself. "I'll be right back. Churros all around?" She nodded and watched him as he headed off in the direction of the little food stands dotting the beach, thinking how much she loved him and how stubborn she'd been about accepting his love in return.

…

She was crying as she packed her things.

"You have to stop this," Dean told her, crossing his arms over his chest and nearly glaring at her from the doorway of her bedroom.

"What if I can't?" she asked, stifling a sniffle and not meeting gaze.

He walked up to her, took the clothes she was packing out of her hands and put his hands on her shoulders. "I'm not letting you go." He told her, looking intently into her damp eyes.

"Then why are you helping me pack?" She put her chin up, as if she was daring him to explain himself, and he wanted to shake her and kiss her at the same time.

"Because – you're moving in with me."

…

Dean came back with churros and tea for Colette and Laura and left them in search of the pilots.

They watched the people on the beach and the children playing in the water for a while before Laura spoke up again.

"You two make it look so easy," she told Colette, giving her a curious look. "What's it like, being married?"

A little laugh escaped Colette. "I'm not sure I'm the expert you should be asking."

"But your marriage is… different … than how I imagined mine with Greg. And certainly not like my mother and father's."

"'Women are challenging the definition of marriage these days,'" Colette said. "Isn't that what Maggie would say?"

Laura sighed. "Maggie would say women can have it all."

"She would, I wouldn't have believed it before now." Colette twisted her ring on her finger filled with the joy at the thought of her husband and everything he'd given her. Love. Hope. Family.

Laura's gaze swept back across the water, then over the beach. Seeing Colette's happiness gave her hope that it was all out there for her, too, it just looked different than it had at the start of the year, and she was starting to realize that was okay. She smiled, her scan of the area complete. "Where is Maggie anyway?"

…

Maggie wasn't smuggling much anymore, but this Brazil job was a big one, and once complete the money she'd make would give her greater flexibility to take time off from Pan Am. She'd been spending more and more time working with an underground women's group fighting for women's rights and gender equality. Since joining this group, Maggie had a new focus for her energy – a cause she'd always felt strongly about, without recognizing it was a cause. Now with the work she and these other women were doing, she could see a future where strong opinionated women were heard and respected, not scoffed at, ridiculed and oppressed. She was fighting for all women to have a voice, to have a choice, and she saw whatever smuggling she participated in as a necessary evil in order to further that cause.

This particular exchange in Brazil was taking a bit longer than expected, but she was willing to overlook her buyers' blatant disrespect of her time for now. She would, however, let them know that if they hoped to have any transactions with her in the future they'd best arrive on time.

She crossed her arms across her chest, and tapped her foot impatiently as she waited, hoping she'd still be able to catch Laura and Colette before they left the beach.

…

Maggie found Colette and Laura just as the sun was setting and they were packing up to return to the hotel. Her deal had gone through even better than expected, if not as timely, and she was feeling celebratory.

"Come on, girls, we're going dancing! Drinks are on me!" she called out, raising her arms over her head and giving a huge smile as she caught up with them.

"But of course. What would a trip to Rio be without the dancing?" Colette laughed.

"Oh, we should ask Elaine," Laura said, referring to the other stewardess who had accompanied them to Brazil. Elaine had been part of the Clipper Majestic crew a while now, but the she didn't quite seem like part of the group yet. There were times Maggie really missed Kate, and though she'd never admit this to Colette, even Bridget. Elaine was Mrs. Havermeyer's model stewardess, which was one of several reasons Maggie wasn't fond of her, but excluding her tonight felt overly mean.

"I suppose we should," she agreed, narrowing her eyes on a hopeful thought. "If we can find her." Then she tossed her head back and asked in a somewhat teasing tone, "Colette, ask the pilots, will you?"

…

In Brazil the dancing didn't start until after midnight, and it was not the type of dancing you'd find in the States, at least not outside of people's basements. It was wild and energetic, sweaty and sexy, and the perfect thing for getting lost in the moment.

The girls had secured a table in the corner of the club, and just finished off round of tequila shots. Maggie smiled and asked, "Another round ladies?"

Dean and Sanjeev had come out with them, and were hovering nearby with their glasses of beer, taking in the scene, but not wanting to invade the girls' space.

Laura circled in the air with her finger, "Order it up!" she called, grimacing as she spit out her lime, and they all giggled.

Colette smiled and walked over to grab her husband and disappear into the group of moving bodies.

"Ugh, those two," Maggie said, with mock disgust, envying their obvious devotion.

Laura sighed. "I think they're sweet. We should all be so lucky."

Elaine snorted. "Yeah, they're lucky they haven't been written up for so blatantly dating."

Maggie and Laura exchanged glances, and Maggie, in defense of her friends, said, "Oh, hush, like you've never looked twice at a co-pilot with possibilities," shooting Elaine a challenging look. "They're just having fun." She smiled in victory when she noticed a blush creep onto the other girl's cheeks, and also noticed quite surprisingly that there was no brief look of regret on Laura's face at the mention of co-pilots. She was smiling.

"Drinks are here!" Laura announced when the waitress arrived with a tray full of shots and a bowl of sliced lime. "Sanjeev!" she called over her shoulder. "Come have Colette's."

Colette caught a glimpse of Laura from the dance floor, and she was relieved to see her friend having fun like she used to. Laura had moments of being wise beyond her years, and for as unsure the situation with Ted had left her, she had a new air of maturity about her as a result. She was transforming into a modern woman, strong in her own right, not outspoken and tough like Maggie, but a sweet, sincere presence, and Colette was happy for her.

They were all happy and exhausted by the time they grabbed burgers topped with corn and tomatoes from a stand on the beach around 5 a.m., and they could see the sun coming up as they returned to the hotel.

Laura was a bit loath to see the day end, it was almost like she'd taken a journey through herself and despite the long day in the sun and the long night, no, morning, of dancing, she felt renewed. Hopeful.

"I think I'm in love with Rio de Janiero," she said on a sigh before they started heading their separate ways. "One of the best layovers ever."

Maggie raised a hand that was holding her heels into the air. "Here! Here!" she agreed, and she and Laura fell into each other, giggling.

"Oh my gosh, you two," Elaine said, rolling her eyes but she was smiling. For the first time she felt like she was maybe, finally, becoming part of this tight-knit group.

"See you all later," Colette said as she and Dean headed, hand-in-hand to their room. She laughed as the girls jested by making outrageous, obnoxious kissing sounds at their retreating backs. "Don't embarrass your Captain!" she called back over her shoulder, amusement in her voice, and Dean laughed beside her. He stopped and pulled her in for a quick display that had the girls calling out, "Awwww," and fake swooning before moving out of sight.

"Who knew you were such an exhibitionist?" Colette joked, smiling up at her husband.

He winked at her. "I never intended to keep it a secret," he told her sincerely. "I love you and the world can know."

Colette wondered again how she got so lucky with him. He was utterly sweet and romantic, loving and playful, and she was grateful he'd had the patience to stick by her through her questioning of, and at one point, refusal, of his love.

"I love you," she whispered as they fell asleep snuggled against each other.


	5. Chapter 5

September 1964

"What do you want to do this weekend?"

Colette propped herself up on her elbows so she could see his face and grinned.

"Will you take me flying?" she asked. They hadn't been flying since just after their wedding. Their friends and family had tied a "Just Married" banner, some cans and old shoes to the back of his dad's crop duster and he took her up after the reception. He'd let her fly, and sat back and soaked in her wonder and enthusiasm. It was the perfect, most fitting ending to their day.

His eyes rolled up to the ceiling and he groaned.

"_S'il te plait__?_"

More groaning. He covered his face with a pillow.

"Dean." She ran her hand up his side, all the way up to his elbow and heard his muffled laugh under the pillow. "I'm coming in," she warned and lifted the pillow, kissing his shoulder, neck, and finally cheek as she exposed them. "Please?" she asked, looking angelic resting her chin on her clasped hands over his chest and staring at him with hopeful eyes.

"Okay, you win," he conceded, unable to tell her no when she looked at him like that.

"Your parents aren't that bad," she said, remembering how willingly they'd received her into their family after she and Dean told them about their engagement, and how they showed that same enthusiasm again with the wedding. She actually really enjoyed visiting them now, despite their rough beginning, and she was pretty sure Dean didn't mind it as much as he put on.

"The things I do for you," he sighed dramatically. Then he grabbed her around the waist and flipped her over. She laughed in surprise, and wove her arms around his neck.

"_Merci_," she said with a smile. "But you always give in too soon."

…

April 1964

"Let's get married in May." He held his breath as he waited for her reply. They were walking home from dinner in New York, not long after he proposed to her, and just a handful of days after they'd finally located and met her brother.

She was on layover in London, his last known address in hand, and knocked on his door with bated breath, barely daring to hope that he was here and found. Dean had walked her the door, gave her a tight hug and kiss, and walked down the sidewalk to give her some privacy. Her hands were shaking and her heart was beating in her throat as she waited for someone to open the door.

He watched her from a short distance as she introduced herself, covering her heart with her hand the way she did when she couldn't contain her emotion, and showed the young man the old family photograph. Dean's eyes misted over when he saw them embrace, he recognized the similar gestures, the same dark eyes, and heard the rapid fire of French as they started talking. He gave her a little wave when she turned around before going inside, and he headed back to the hotel to wait for her. His steps were light, he couldn't help being happy at her happiness.

The reunion with her brother had been a poignant one, and everything she had hoped. His name was Pierre Etienne Coultier now, but everyone called him Pace because he was a competitive runner, well known in the marathon circuit. His adoptive parents moved the family to England shortly after the war ended, and he now lived on his own in a flat in London, a quick train ride away from where he grew up and where his adoptive parents still lived in the countryside. His parents had never been able to have children of their own, and they'd told him that he was adopted a couple years ago and that he had a sister, but thus far he had been unable to locate her. As it turned out he was just as overjoyed as she was that she had found him.

From that day, Colette felt like all the pieces of her life had finally come together. And now, she the man she loved wanted to marry her – soon.

Still she eyed him, unsure. "This May? As in next month?"

"Yes, this May."

"You want to get married so quickly?"

He stopped, took both of her hands in his and looked at her with serious, steady eyes. "I nearly died when I thought you were going to marry someone else, and again when that transfer to Hong Kong came through. I wanted to wait until after we found your brother, and now we have. I don't want to wait anymore. I want to make sure there is no question about us. Ever."

A slow smile spread across her face. She laced their fingers together and told him in French that there was not any question about them, he made her so happy and she loved him more than she could ever say.

"What did you say?" He asked, taking one of his hands so he could brush back a stray strand of hair from her face.

"May it is," she told him with a smile, and kissed the hand she held intertwined with hers. "I'm going to have to teach you French, _mon amour_."

He nodded, knowing she'd said more as he recognized some of the words, but not pressing her because he loved when she spoke to him in French. He'd learn in time.

That settled they walked on for a while again, before he asked, "Where are we going to get married?"

"I have an idea…" she trailed off, glancing at him, knowing he'd probably say no at first, but not unwilling to use her female wiles to convince him it was the best choice. She smiled at the thought.

"Oh, yeah? Where?"

"I was thinking your parent's farm."

He stopped in his tracks again but this time she had to do the convincing. "Are you serious?" He looked at her and realized she didn't look like she was joking. "No way." He was shaking his head in protest and looking at her like she was out of her mind.

"Dean, think about it," she listed things off on her fingers. "It's far enough away from the city to be discrete, there's plenty of space to have it outside – cross your fingers there isn't rain," she crossed her fingers here and he thought she was adorable, he was distracted watching her talk with her hands and had to make himself focus on her words again, "…and it'll make your parents happy."

"Colette, my dad…" 

"Your dad wants to be more involved in your life. Let's involve him. And your mom, well, she'll be overjoyed."

He looked up at the sky, feeling himself on the verge of conceding. "My family is going to take over. My aunts are going to want to make food…"

She took his arm and pulled him so they started walking again. "I love that you come with a family," she said with a smile, knowing he'd come around to her idea.

"Why do you make it impossible to argue with you?"

She laughed. "I can remember plenty of times when you had no problem arguing with me." And then she added, "I'm actually disappointed you gave in so quickly. I was prepared to do whatever it took to get you to come around."

He raised his eyebrows at that. "Whatever it took?"

She nodded.

"Tears?"

Another nod.

"French?"

"_Oui_," she smiled.

"A kiss?"

"Let's get home and I'll show you."

He laughed and quickened their pace.


	6. Chapter 6

September 1964

They arrived at his parents' farm in time to fly for a while before having dinner with his parents. Seeing the farm immediately brought Colette back to their wedding day. She thought what a strange and welcome change it was to have family to visit – on two continents. And as she waited for Dean to do the pre-flight checks for the little plane, she gazed across the landscape, seeing it as it was four months ago…

…

May 1964

Colette peeked out the window at the growing group of people and started to feel anxious.

It was late morning. The day was beautiful, the sun was shining, the trees were full of bright green leaves, and there were flowers of all colors in pots lined up along the row of seats brought in and arranged to make an aisle down the middle. It was simple and beautiful and Colette was so touched by Dean's family's hospitality and everything they'd done to make this day special.

His parents had been so excited to hear that they were getting married, not to mention proud and pleased to host the wedding. Dean's mother had rushed at Colette with the warmest embrace and welcomed her to the family. She'd never forget that hug – the hug of a mother.

From then on his mother, along with his aunts, took charge of the planning, just like Dean thought they would, from how to set up the yard for a wedding and reception, to what kind of food and cake to serve. They occasionally checked in with the couple, but neither she nor Dean minded his family taking the reins on the planning. Colette happily let them carry her along for the ride, feeling like she was part of a family, or what she imagined people with family must feel like – amused, irritated, and loved by them, sometimes all at the same time. And now they were all out there – waiting for her.

"Nerve wracking, isn't it?"

"Laura." Her voice came out in a relieved rush as she turned to see her friend.

"I don't recommend looking out the window," Laura smiled as walked over to give Colette a hug. "It can lead to running out on your wedding. But just in case that's what you want, Kate and I borrowed our dad's car to come here and it makes an excellent getaway vehicle."

Colette laughed as Laura joke with her, feeling much better now that she wasn't alone. "Did Maggie come with you, too?"

"Oh, she's on her way. She's driving up with Mike Ruskin."

"Mike Ruskin, of the Village Voice?" Colette was barely able to ask; both girls erupted with laughter the second she said it and didn't stop until tears ran down their faces.

"Oh, cookies. Come here, we're going to have to fix your mascara," Laura told her, getting a hanky out of her bag.

Colette grabbed Laura's hand mid-way to her face and squeezed. "Thanks for coming," she said. She knew Ted was out there and she knew it still wasn't easy for them to be around each other and she appreciated her friend being here despite her own discomfort. And she was grateful for the distraction from her nerves.

"You're welcome," Laura told her simply. "But you couldn't have kept me away."

…

The day was finally here and Dean was glad he'd gone along with her idea to get married on the farm. His mother hadn't stopped beaming since they'd told her of their engagement, and she was so pleased to help with the wedding; she hadn't stopped smiling yet today. His dad was down right pleasant and accommodating, and Dean guessed their long stalemate might be a thing of the past. His aunts, uncles and cousins were here, Pace had flown in from London, and a handful of their friends they could trust with the secret, the small group that had become like family, were there to celebrate with them, too. Being surrounded by their family and friends on their wedding day was much better than whisking her off to get married in secret at City Hall.

And then he saw her, and all other thoughts were gone. She was wearing a dress of cream-colored lace that bared her shoulders and stopped just above her knees, and Dean swore she'd never looked more beautiful. Pace was there to walk her down the short aisle. He shook hands with Dean and hugged his sister tight, then she and Dean were standing next to each other, holding hands, their gazes steady on each other and saying their vows.

It went by in a blur and in no time they were turning around to the applause of their friends and family, the new Mr. and Mrs. Lowrey.

…

"They look so happy," Kate said, sipping her wine, her eyes following Colette and Dean as they danced.

"I hope they can make this work – keeping it a secret," Maggie said, following Kate's gaze.

"We're going to help them make it work," Laura told them, she said it so fiercely, like a mama bear protecting her cubs, that both Kate and Maggie looked over at her. She lifted her head defiantly and simply explained, "Seeing them together gives us all something to aspire to."

Kate raised her eyebrows and nodded in agreement.

"I guess Dean is a new breed of man," Maggie said. "I mean, he doesn't expect her to stay locked up at home while he gets to keep flying 'round the world. Gold star to him for that."

"I think it's romantic," Laura said wistfully. "An open-ended honeymoon."

Kate raised her glass to toast her wine in Laura's direction. "And you'll be on it with them."

The three of them dissolved into giggles.

…

"Laura."

Laura was returning from the house when Ted caught her on her way back to the garden and the wedding reception.

She stopped in her tracks and looked up at him, her heart racing and aching, but she kept her greeting cool. "Hello, Ted."

"It's nice to see you," he told her, stuffing his hands in his pockets. That wasn't entirely true, it was painful to see her. He'd been married four months now, and he knew she was lost to him, but couldn't stop himself from talking to her. She just nodded, unsure of what he expected from her and wishing he'd just go away.

"Ted, there you are," Maggie said, noticing Laura stuck like a statue in front of Ted and coming to her rescue. "Mike's off looking at Dean's dad's tractors and I need someone to dance with," she said, pulling him away from Laura.

Once they were on the dance floor she focused her big eyes on him and told him, quite clearly that he needed to leave Laura alone. "The situation can't be changed. Let her move on."

"I'm trying," he muttered, feeling awful. She scoffed at that.

"Try harder," she said. "How's Amanda? I noticed she didn't make it."

"She thought it might be better if she stayed at home." He gave her a pointed look.

Maggie nodded and gave Ted a comforting squeeze. She understood probably better than anyone else what it was like to feel like the light in your life had gone out. She also knew the truth about Amanda, there was no point in pretending Ted's situation was anything other than unfortunate. "I'm sorry, Ted."

He nodded, and they danced together, two lost souls trying to navigate a world forever changed by loss.

…

It was nearly time to begin boarding for their flight to Athens. The girls were lined up, waiting to greet the passengers.

"Anyone do anything fun over the weekend?" Elaine asked.

Colette's breath froze in her throat and she stared straight ahead.

"We went to a wedding," Laura chirped, happily, unfazed by the question.

"That sounds fun," Elaine said. "Anyone I know?"

"Oh, probably not," Maggie said, waving away the question. "Good friend of Kate's."

Elaine nodded, accepting this answer, having no reason not to, and Maggie gave Laura and Colette a quick co-conspirator smile. Colette's heart was warmed by her friends' protection, and she knew she'd made the right decision to trust them – all of them.

Truth be told, Colette wasn't all that surprised by Maggie's protection. The one time she'd casually mentioned secret marriages within Pan Am Maggie had rallied for married girls being able to make the decision to work if they wanted to; she saw no problem with the secrecy if Pan Am was going to insist on such a sexist policy.

"Why shouldn't women be given the same opportunity to work and be married as men?" She'd declared in a huff. "It's ridiculous for women to cave in to this archaic 'sexist structure of power.'"

But she knew her situation was more than Maggie's feeling about gender inequality. She, Maggie, Kate and Laura had become a tightly knit group, woven together by shared life experiences and great friendship, and that made them more like family, she knew they'd be there for each other unconditionally even when, in time, life took them in different directions.

Life was already so different than it had been on New Year's Eve. Colette was still amazed at the changes 1964 had brought her: a brother, friends who had become like sisters and a husband.

"Here they come," she said, nodding to the line of passengers making their way toward the plane and ending the girls' chatter. She gripped her hands together tightly and her smile for the boarding passengers was glowing and genuine. And for one special passenger she had a secret smile and an extra sparkle in her eye.

"Welcome to Pan Am," she said, feeling giddy as she stared into the eyes of her husband.

Dean winked at her and surreptitiously brushed his hand over hers as he made his way back to his seat. They were starting their honeymoon adventure with this trip to Athens; he'd be back in the Captain's seat again shortly after they returned and they'd be off to dozens of other destinations together. She couldn't wait.

"I might skip debriefing tonight," she whispered at the other girls once they'd shut the door for takeoff.

"Did I see your boyfriend on board?" Elaine joked.

"No, I don't think so," Colette said with wink.

…

He cornered her in the economy galley at the back of the plane. It was deserted aside from the two of them, most of the passengers on-board were asleep, and the other stewardesses were in and around the first class galley.

"Hello, Miss," Dean said, coming up behind her.

Colette quickly glanced around before relaxing against him. "Captain Lowrey, is there something I can help you with?"

"I'm in need of a kiss," he whispered in her ear.

She turned in his arms, wrapped her arms around his neck and obliged.

"I think I could get used to this," he told her. "So much more free time to flirt with and kiss the stewardesses when you're not flying the plane."

She laughed and playfully shoved against his chest. "You better not be flirting with any other stewardesses."

"There's only the one. I'm crazy about her. I've been crazy about her for a long time."

"Oh? What did you do about it?"

"I married her," he whispered before kissing her again.

Maggie was making her way to the back of the plane to return a service cart when she heard them. She knew it was them from their low voices, giggles and kisses. She smiled to herself and parked the cart and herself in the aisle, preventing any passengers or crew from entering the area, thinking there was no harm in giving the newlyweds a few minutes of stolen privacy.

…

September 1964

She pulled her goggles over her face and grinned over at him.

"How do I look?"

"As beautiful as the day I married you," he said with a smile, the memory vivid in his mind, and they took off. He meant it, too. She looked beautiful then, and she looked beautiful today. He loved taking her flying and letting her take the yoke, just so he could watch her, feel her excitement and exhilaration. He never imagined watching someone else's joy would make him so happy, but it did, again and again.


	7. Chapter 7

October 1964, Tokyo

"Hello, Dean."

Seeing her was startling at first, like it had been every time he'd seen her since that first unexplained disappearance, but this time there was no confusion, no twist of emotion.

"Bridget."

He'd loved her once, but he knew without a doubt those feelings were long gone. So much time had passed since the last time he saw her, nearly a year now, that it was odd to see her and think back, after all that had happened. The last time he'd seen her he'd told her good-bye.

…

November 1963

He heard the knock at the door and hoped it was Colette. They had returned home from Moscow two days ago and he hadn't seen or spoken to her, and being away from her was like slow torture. He should have known better.

"I haven't heard from you," she said with a smile when he opened the door, breezing past him into his apartment.

"Bridget. What are you doing here?" Dean asked, wondering why her demeanor was so pleasant. As he closed the door he said a silent prayer that ending things with Bridget would not play out like it had with Ginny.

She turned to look at him. "I thought we could finish our conversation from the other day." Truth was, she'd hoped what she'd told Laura was true – that she and Dean would be okay. She was trained to observe; she saw the way Colette reacted after Dean told her about their…_moment of weakness_…in London, and she hoped with that relationship out of the way, Dean would realize the two of them were meant to be together. But as she saw him shake his head, his eyes remaining aloof, her hope dwindled. Then his words came and she felt each one like a blow to her chest.

"Bridget, I'm sorry. The other night was a mistake." He looked her right in the eye when he delivered his final blow. "I'm in love with someone else."

She narrowed her steely gaze on him. "And if she won't have you back?"

"That's my cross to bear." She noticed the look of pain that crossed his face and felt jealousy boil up and fill all the holes he'd just shot through her.

"I can't say I'm not disappointed." She let her gaze wander around his apartment, saw the subtle signs that told her another woman had been here, she caught hints of perfume lingering in the air that wasn't hers. She soaked up every painful detail.

"There were too many lies, too many disappearances," he explained.

She stood in front of him, beseeching him with her words yet again. "That was before. I told you, I'm free of MI6. It'll be different now. We can be married. It will work, you'll see." She reached for his hand.

He gave her hand a small squeeze and let it go. She knew he was letting her go.

"It already is different, Bridget. I've moved on."

She was feeling the loss of him all over again, and she wondered how she could have been so stupid. She'd put so much on the line to come back here for him, things he'd never know or possibly even understand, and she was starting to feel the weight of her decision. And in the end she wasn't even getting him. There would be no husband, no family, no façade of a normal life. Her sense of loss was huge, but she kept her tone casual.

"Then I guess there is nothing to keep me from transferring to the London base."

He shook his head. "I'm sorry."

She nodded. "I thought it would be the same. I suppose I shouldn't have." She started back toward the door. "Goodbye, Dean." Then with one last backward glance, she was gone.

It had been a relief to close the door behind her and let her walk out of his life.

…

And now, here she was again.

"Are you here for the Olympics?" she asked, bringing him back to the present.

"We just flew in," he said. "And you?"

"I flew over yesterday. From London." She took a step closer to him and he resisted the urge to take one back. "How have you been?" She didn't give him a chance to answer, but looked around and stated, "You're all alone."

"For now. The girls are debriefing. Kate was a passenger on our flight and she's joining them so I imagine it'll take longer than usual."

"Kate's here?" she asked, surprised by this information.

"Yeah. She got us tickets to go to the basketball game tomorrow," he told her, and he felt a bit guilty, remembering that she and the other girls, Kate especially, used to be such good friends. "I could let them know you're here, if you want to catch up."

"That would be–"

"Elizabeth!" Bridget spun around as a man speaking quick French approached her. His face looked stormy and Dean wondered what kind of business Bridget was caught up in now. The man didn't seem to notice Dean at all.

Bridget answered him curtly in French, than looked at Dean.

"It was nice to see you, Dean," she told him, looking at him like she wasn't ready to leave, before she left with the French man.

Dean left out a breath he didn't even know he'd been holding. The whole encounter left him unsettled, and brought him back to a time he'd rather not remember, tried not to remember, but the memories were persistent.

…

"Why are you here?" Colette asked, removing a pair of sunglasses from her bag and putting them on.

The sky was overcast and the daylight was fading, and he knew there was no reason for those big dark glasses except to act as barrier between them. Dean had caught a quick glimpse of her dark eyes, the bottom lids curving upward slightly making the crescent shape they did when she was mad or upset.

"I've been calling and you don't answer," he explained, his eyes soaking in the sight of her, even if she was distant. "I want to talk to you. To see you."

She didn't respond, just stared at her building, letting him know she wasn't offering an explanation or initiating a discussion.

"I made a mistake. I'm sorry," he told her, searching her face. "I'm sorry," he said again emphatically.

She shook her head.

"Colette, I love you."

"What about Bridget?" Her words were cool, her face a smooth, emotionless mask to his declaration, but inside the hurt was raw, suffocating; she wanted to believe him so badly but she didn't.

"It's over."

She closed her eyes behind her glasses. She wasn't convinced; she'd heard it before. "I won't be one of your girls. I don't want to end up like Ginny."

"You're nothing like that," he reached for her hand but she pulled away, took a step back from him and crossed her arms over her chest.

She knew she couldn't let him touch her – she had no defense against anymore, and she wasn't about to dissolve in front of him. Being this close to him was tearing her up inside.

"What do I have to do to prove that to you?" he asked, frustrated and faltering, wishing he could see her eyes.

"You already did. With Bridget." Her words were clipped, but each one of them hurt. She finally turned to face him. "Please. Leave me alone."

"Colette…" They stared at each other for a long time, him pleading, not quite sure how to explain himself to her, her hiding behind the sunglasses, just barely holding herself together. After he couldn't take her silence anymore he whispered, "I miss you."

She wanted to scream at him, that he did this to them, that he caused them to be set adrift from each other, for it to hurt so much when she looked at him because she still loved him and he'd shattered her heart. Instead she said, "Maybe you are in love with two women, but you made your choice a week ago. In London." Her voice broke as she said it, giving away her emotion, and she knew it was time to go inside.

She started up the steps, hot tears filling her eyes and threatening to spill over, and made her way inside. He felt like he was being ripped in two as the door closed behind her.

…

"So, Kate, tell us all about your adventures at school. Is it like being back in college all over again?"

The girls were all gathered around the table in a Tokyo bar, having drinks and appetizers, where debriefing turned to quizzing Kate for details on her very private personal life. Without them even realizing it, the more questions they asked, the more vague her answers became.

"It's not like college at all. They expect me to work," she laughed, enjoying the casual and fun company of her friends and sister. It was a nice break from the intensity of being an agent – for now. It wasn't a coincidence she'd taken this flight over and happened to get tickets to the basketball playoffs, but that part of the her mission could wait until tomorrow.

"I can't believe you got us all tickets to an Olympic game," Laura said, ever excited for new experiences, and happy to have her sister traveling with them again.

"Being in and around Washington does have its advantages," Kate told her. "Now, what have I missed at Pan Am? Who is dating who these days?" she asked, leaning in to hear all the latest gossip.

"Well, Maggie's still dating Mike Ruskin," Laura told her, with a meaningful raise of her eyebrows. She didn't know much about the relationship, but she did know they saw a lot of each other.

"We are not dating," Maggie clarified, holding up a hand to dispel that theory, even though she and Mike had been kind of dating, or something, since Dean and Colette's wedding five months ago.

"Getting serious, Maggie?" Kate asked, teasing now.

"Hardly. He's easy to be around, that's all." She said defiantly, taking a sip of her drink, but hide as she might behind the glass, her blush gave her away. She really did like him. A lot. And she wasn't sure how she felt about that. Five months was starting to feel like a long time.

The girls giggled and nodded in faux agreement and indulged her delusions.

"And what about the Sky God?" Kate asked, noticing Captain Broyles on the flight over and now here in the background of the bar they were in.

"That was never anything worth talking about," Maggie responded quickly, brushing it off. "That man is too infuriating to be around for very long."

…

_New York to Tokyo_

"What are you doing here?" Maggie hissed, when she finally had a moment to corner Broyles on the plane.

"I told you, this deal is big." He gave her a pointed look. "You need me."

"I would have been fine on my own. You're the one who needed _me_," she reminded him.

"It's an equal partnership then," he offered. "The Olympics are going to make people crazy. Look at the size of you. I'm just here to protect you, Maggie. Make sure everything goes smoothly."

Maggie looked at him with narrowed, suspicious eyes. "I don't want you getting any ideas…"

Broyles held up his hand in surrender. "Everything's professional. You handle it, and you choose the jobs you want. I'm just here for support."

Maggie gave a short, quick nod of her head and started to brush past him. "So long as we understand each other."

"Don't worry – your boyfriend isn't going to find out how you afford all that extra time off from me."

She spun around quickly, shooting daggers at him with her eyes. "Are you threatening me – again?"

…

"So, who else do we have to fill you in on?" Maggie asked, ready to move the topic of conversation away from her and the two very different men in her life.

For once she was pleased to have Elaine seated beside her as the other woman piped up and said, "Colette and Dean are still going strong."

Maggie rolled her eyes. _Perfect, from one dubious activity to the next,_ she thought.

"You two are like an old married couple," Kate said with a wink in Colette's direction.

"Almost," Colette said with a laugh.

Kate guessed Elaine had not been clued into the couple's marital status. She puzzled over what Elaine must think of the ring Colette wore out of uniform, but turned her attention to her sister and away from Colette just in case there was a reason they were keeping the secret from her. "And what about you, Laura? Seeing anyone lately?"

Laura played with the straw in her drink. "Well, there is a man from my photography class…"

"Laura! You've been holding out on us," Maggie said, wide-eyed in surprise and bumping Laura's leg under the table. "I want details."

All eyes were on Laura, eager for news. "We just met at the beginning of the semester. He asked me out last month," she said primly. "We been out a few times."

"And?"

"He's…" Laura trailed off, a big smile on her face. "He's – it's – been really great. And, I don't want to say anything else yet." Truth was, it was going really well and she liked him a lot, but after what happened with Ted she'd put walls up to keep herself from getting too close too fast. She'd decided that for her, despite how strong she might feel for someone, slow and sure was better than fast and devastated. She looked over at Elaine thinking it was time to toss the hot potato. She thought it seemed to be flying around the table tonight, none of them really wanting to divulge too much information, and she wondered why that was. Still, she was eager to move the conversation away from herself, so she asked, "What about you Elaine? Are you still seeing that man from your building?"

Elaine scoffed. "No, that's done. His ex-girlfriend came back and it seems they are going to try to work it out."

Colette put her hand over Elaine's. "I'm sorry."

Elaine shrugged. "It's nothing. Although I may have to move." She gave them a wan smile, trying to play it off with a joke, but Colette could see that it was bothering her. She knew first hand how bad it could be when an ex came back into the picture.

…

"I have to tell you something," Dean told Colette later that night.

"Oh, yes?"

He hesitated, looking into her sparkling eyes, unsure of how she would react. For the longest time he dared not even mentioned Bridget's name because it upset her so much, but he didn't want to keep it from her.

"Bridget is here," he said, keeping his eyes focused on her face.

Colette's eyebrows knit together. "How do you know this?"

"I saw her, while you were debriefing," he explained. "She flew over from London for the Olympics, too."

"Hmph," was all she said, and she turned around, focused on unpacking.

He came up behind her and put his arms around her. "Is that all you have to say?"

She wondered what she was supposed to say. Should she admit that even though they'd been married for nearly six months she still got an uneasy feeling when she thought about Bridget? That she felt like there was still something about that relationship she didn't know and understand? Or that the thought of Dean and Bridget together last year still made her sick to her stomach? And she couldn't stop herself from wondering what he felt when he saw her again.

"What is it you think I should say?" she asked, carefully unfolding a dress and smoothing out non-existent wrinkles.

He shrugged and moved her hair to one side so he could kiss the side of her neck, never wanting anything to come between them again. He felt her relax into him, and was relieved; he didn't want her to be hurt by old memories. "Nothing, I guess. I just wanted you to know she's here."

"In this hotel?" Her hands stilled as she absorbed that information.

"This is the hotel Pan Am uses when we fly in," he told her. "It's possible there are a few crews here right now because of the Olympics."

"That makes sense."

He stared at the side of her face. "It was odd," he said, as he thought back on the exchange. " A man came up to her while we were talking and I'm positive he called her Elizabeth."

"What did he say?"

"That's the other strange thing – he spoke to her in French."

Colette shrugged. "Who knows? Bridget has _friends_ all over the globe." The inflection she used when she said the word friends let him know exactly what she thought of Bridget's friendships.

But what Colette didn't know, the part he'd never told her about, was Bridget's confession about being a spy. He wondered if what happened today had anything to do with that, or if her spy days really were behind her like she told him last fall.


	8. Chapter 8

October 1964 part 2

It was so loud in the gymnasium during the basketball game you could barely hear the person beside you even if they were yelling in your ear. Colette tried to tell Kate about Bridget being in Tokyo, but the most she was able to communicate was that Bridget was there. The USA team was doing so well that the volume level never really decreased, and Colette finally got so caught up in the game and the excitement that she decided to leave it and talk to Kate in the morning before their flight out. It didn't matter anyway as Kate wrestled her way out early, barely into the second quarter, complaining of a headache.

Dean and Colette were separated from the group in the mass of celebrating fans on their way out, and figured they'd see them all back at the hotel, or quite possibly tomorrow.

"If I know Maggie she'll find a way to go out celebrating with the team, and drag Laura with her," Colette said, wondering what fun her friends would be getting up to tonight.

"They better not celebrate too much – the team has the Soviets to defeat in two days," Dean said, serious about his basketball.

She laughed and tightened her arm around his waist for fear of losing him to the crowd. "I never thought I'd get so excited about this sport."

"I'm going to teach you to play when we get home," he told her.

"Can I wear the little shorts and the high socks?" She asked, still amused by the atrocious fashion on the court.

Dean groaned at the sky. "You French and your haughty sense of style," he joked, and he was rewarded with the sound of the tinkling giggle he loved so much.

"I know. We are unreasonable. Who doesn't want to wear a _sweat band_ around their forehead?" She said, wrinkling her nose in faux-disgust. She was kidding of course, she actually was surprised by how fun the game looked. "I'd love for you to teach me, " she told him.

He looked over at her and smiled. When they got to a quiet, out of the way spot he pulled her aside and put his arms around her waist. "You are going to look ridiculously good in that uniform," he told her, his face inches from her.

"You think?"

"I know. You'll probably score a few points because I'll be so distracted," he said and kissed her. They stood there for a few minutes, the sound of the thinning crowd disappearing as they lost themselves in each other.

"Let's get back to the hotel," he said and he pulled her to his side. "I'll teach you the basics of man-on-man defense."

She laughed at his suggestive comment, and found herself even more intrigued by the idea of learning the game than ever.

…

"I'll see you on the plane," Colette told Dean the next morning as she kissed him good-bye. He had to go to the airport early to do some pre-flight checks, and she was going to stop by Kate's room and see if she wanted to grab a coffee and talk before they left.

He pulled her in for one last quick kiss to tide them until they reached New York and were out of uniform again. "See you at home."

She smiled over her shoulder. "_Je t'aime."_

…

Colette knocked on Kate's door. And waited. She heard shuffling noises from inside but no answer.

"Kate?" She knocked again.

The door opened in one swift motion and instead of Kate there stood Bridget.

Colette swallowed her surprised gasp, her hand frozen mid-knock. Adrenaline started pumping through her veins and making her shake. "Bridget." She looked around behind her. "Where is Kate?"

Bridget brushed a stray hair back with her hand. "She's inside. We're just catching up." She held the door open wide. "Come in and have a cup of tea with us."

Colette hesitated for a second then decided against it. "No, I'll talk to her on the plane. You two catch up."

She started down the hall, and heard the door close and Bridget's quick steps behind her.

"Colette, do you have a minute?" Bridget asked as she caught up to her.

What she really wanted to do was walk away, but she paused, turned to face her, grit her teeth. Her heart was pumping in her chest as she said, "Of course."

"Dean didn't tell you?" Bridget said after a moment of searching her face.

"Tell me what?" A nagging feeling crept over her. What would Dean keep from her? "He told me you were here."

"Yes, that's it," Bridget said, and waved it away. "The truth is I could use your help."

Colette shook her head, ready to be moving on. The old hurt and jealousy was returning and she was not interested. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"We'll be done and you'll be on your way before your flight," Bridget said, noticing that Colette was in uniform.

"I'm sorry, no," Colette said, trying to move around the other woman, but Bridget grabbed her arm.

"Wait. Please. I need you to listen to me," Bridget said, holding on to her. "We were friends once, weren't we?"

"Yes, we were." Colette shook her arm free and stared at the other woman, wondering what had gotten into her to be acting so desperately.

"Then, please, as a friend, would you help me? I'm in trouble." Bridget's eyes were imploring. "I would have asked Kate but she's already left."

Colette raised an eyebrow. "I thought you said the two of you were talking."

Bridget mentally kicked herself for that slip. "We weren't. I went looking for her because I thought she might be able to help me. Kate has… connections." She noticed Colette's eyebrows knit together in confusion. "Oh, come on. She wasn't just here to catch up and watch basketball," Bridget said.

"What are you talking about?" Colette asked, her eyes wide and wavering.

"Come with me and I'll explain," Bridget said, pulling Colette in the direction of her room. Curiosity getting the better of her, Colette went along. She had time to spare before leaving for the airport anyway.

…

Once securely inside her room, Bridget started to explain.

"There is a French man here. He knows me. Who I used to be." She moved around the room, making sure to keep herself between Colette and the door. She had Colette here on her human decency alone, but she wasn't above using other means if necessary. "Problem is, I need to deliver something to a colleague of his, a Mr. Gustave. If the other man sees me talking to him I'll be made."

Colette tried to make sense of what Bridget was telling her. "Made? What are you talking about? You're in danger?"

Bridget nodded. "But you won't be. You'll just be another fan," she quickly added. "All I need you to do is deliver something, say a few words."

Colette wasn't sure if she believed that or not. "And how exactly do you expect me to do that?" she asked.

"First, you're going to have to change out of that uniform. It'll draw too much attention. I'll figure out the rest."

"One more thing. Who did you used to be?" Colette asked, wondering what exactly she had gotten herself into, but already resigned to the fact that she was going to help.

…

The last of the passengers had boarded and Colette had yet to show up. It was nearly time to close the door when Maggie finally went to the cockpit in search of answers.

"Dean, where's Colette? We're ready to go."

Dean felt like he was experiencing déjà vu.

"What do you mean, where is she? She's not onboard?"

"I wouldn't be asking if she was."

Dean swept past Maggie and headed back to economy to find Kate, hoping there was an explanation.

"Kate, did you see Colette this morning?"

Kate shook her head, confused. "No, I didn't see her." Her mind raced through possibilities. "I left my room early…"

Dean could feel his heart starting to race, his worry escalating. He'd been here before. "Well, where is she?" he asked.

"I have no idea," Kate answered, her eyes giving nothing away. Internally she wondered if Colette had inadvertently gotten caught up in the Cold War battle playing out here under the cover of the Olympics. Tiny but important bits of national security information were changing hands all over Tokyo. She knew Bridget was here, and although Bridget was dark on her side, that didn't mean she wasn't still in the game. If the Soviets had someone like Bridget working for them, then the whole mission could have been compromised; she needed to know which team Bridget was on. She needed to make a phone call. Now.

…

"How have you been, Colette?" Bridget asked, as if they were just catching up, rather than walking to the gymnasium where the Americans were practicing for tomorrow's game, on a mission to throw off a dangerous Soviet agent _because Bridget was a spy._ It was that last piece of information that Colette was still trying to wrap her mind around.

Colette didn't say anything in return; it seemed ludicrous to have this conversation at the moment, yet she always seemed to find herself with the chattiest companions when there was danger.

Bridget carried on with her conversation despite Colette's silence. "So you and Dean, you two worked it out?"

Colette eyed her suspiciously, finally having the opportunity to ask something that had been on her mind for nearly a year now. "You knew we were together, before that night in London?"

"I had my suspicions when I first saw the two of you at Operations," Bridget admitted. "It was all over Dean's face. And then, at the bar, after I'd had drinks with Dean, Kate inadvertently confirmed it."

"You used me," Colette said, remembering how sorry she'd felt for Bridget on the plane to London, how she'd persuaded Dean to talk with her that night. Anger boiled up inside her and she stopped walking. She crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't have to help you."

Bridget called her bluff. "But you will."

Colette backed down from her threat, her intuition telling her that helping voluntarily was the best way, and knowing that if she didn't help Bridget now she would always wonder what happened to her. She didn't want Bridget on her mind any more than she'd already been.

"I won't deny it, I wanted him back, and I used you in my efforts." Bridget said, studying her as they continued on their way. "I loved him and I wanted to be his wife. But in the end he didn't want me."

"He spent the night with you," Colette said, still hating the fact.

"He was hurt and confused. I used it to my advantage." Bridget watched as Colette cringed at her words. "He didn't want me," she repeated.

Colette's mind was racing with questions, but she didn't ask anything.

"My heart broke, too, you know," Bridget admitted. "I had to leave him, I didn't want to. I hated the circumstances."

"You were never sick," Colette said, finally starting to realize the scope of Bridget's lies and entanglements.

"No. I was in danger, a job gone wrong."

Bridget was silent again for a while as they continued their brisk pace toward the gym. Colette walked along beside her, trying to make sense of everything she'd learned today, her heartbeat nearly matching the tattoo of their feet. She was so lost in her thoughts and the sound of their heels on the pavement that Bridget startled her when she started talking again.

"It's almost fitting that I've been made again and here you are, coming to my rescue," she said, looking over at her. "Just as I imagine you came to Dean's rescue when I disappeared." Her tone had changed, and as she carried on, and Colette could sense the hurt beneath the words. "I'm glad you were there to comfort him. I thought the things I was doing were for a good cause, but in the end, I'm not sure it was worth what I lost. Or hurting him."

Colette understood how heartbreaking it must have been for Bridget to lose the man she'd loved to circumstance, and why she'd acted the way she had when she returned. The situation had been unfortunate and devastating from beginning to end, with Bridget having little control of it.

"Why are you saying this?" Colette asked.

"Why are you helping me?" Bridget responded. She looked over at Colette and shrugged. The casual move belied the significance of their exchange. "Quid pro quo," she finally offered. They exchanged a brief look, then Bridget looked away and said, "He really loves you, you know?"

Colette, still absorbing the revelations of the past hour, subconsciously rubbed the ring hidden in her girdle. "I know." Guilt washed over here as she thought about how worried Dean would be when he found out she wasn't on the flight home, and hating that her own insecurities had caused her even a moment of doubt the other day.

"I'm happy it's worked out for the two of you," Bridget said, her face focused again. "But you should be more discrete. I saw you last night, right… about… here." She stopped in the spot where Colette and Dean stood less than a day ago.

"What now?" Colette asked, slightly unnerved to learn that Bridget had been watching them, and feeling more and more uneasy about the task at hand.

"Just wait here. We're going to watch for the teams to go in," Bridget told her as they stood in the shadows.

Colette bit her lip nervously, but she stood there with Bridget and waited. She breathed in and out of her nose and wondered again why she was doing this, and realized she never really had a choice.

…

Kate jumped up out of her seat, and grabbed her bag. "I'll go find her and we'll take a later flight," she told them, making her way to the front of the plane.

Maggie had followed Dean out of the cockpit, and now she followed Dean and Kate back to the front. "What do you want to do? It's time to take off."

Dean looked at Maggie. "I can't leave without her," he told her, and he made his way back to the cockpit. "Radio Operations," he told Robert, the first officer who replaced Ted after his promotion. "Find out if they've heard from Colette."

…

Colette stumbled through the door leading to the gymnasium; after their long wait her nerves were starting to get the better of her. What if she messed up the delivery and gave herself away to the Soviet agent? She and Bridget had gone over the plan for the last hour, but she outlined the highlights once more before Colette went in on her own.

"Down that hall," Bridget guided Colette, making sure to stay concealed behind her. "Go in and deliver the message to Mr. Gustave – in French. And remember to place the package in his hand without anyone seeing. Like we practiced. I'll be waiting out here."

Colette took a steadying breath and put her hand on the door handle. She felt Bridget's hand on her arm. "Thank you, Colette." Her eyes were sincere. "I'm sorry if I've been… unkind. And for any trouble I've caused. You are doing me a great favor."

Colette gave her a quick nod and headed off in the direction of the tall French man Bridget pointed out as Mr. Gustave. She could do this.

…

"Operations said Colette called in to say she was staying in Tokyo longer. Last minute decision to meet with an old friend," Robert reported to Dean.

"The hell she did," Dean said, raking his hands through his hair.

"Captain, we're clear for take off."

Dean shot Robert such a fierce stare that the co-pilot didn't say another word.

"We are not leaving without her," he said.

"Dean, I might have an idea of where she is," Kate told him from the doorway. "I'll stay behind, and we'll fly out on the next flight to New York."

Dean's gave her a torturous look. He'd been in a similar situation before and lost a fiancé. Now Kate was asking him to leave his wife behind, and just fly the plane home and wait for her return. Was she serious? Did she really expect him to be able to do that? Kate put a hand on his arm, sensing his distress.

"Dean, I'll find her. You have to go. The plane is full and these people are ready to leave."

Maggie interrupted from the doorway, Broyles behind her.

"You both go," she told them. "We'll take care of the flight."

…

The mission complete, and by all appearances successful, Colette emerged from the gym. She met Bridget off to the side of the building, where she was waiting for her.

"Well?"

"Your message was delivered."

"Good," Bridget let out a long sigh of relief. "Thank you again."

"And where are you off to now?"

"Here and there," Bridget said, evasively. "Take care, Colette." She gave her hand a tight squeeze of thanks and disappeared into the shadows once again, leaving Colette on her own, wondering if and when she'd ever see her again, but knowing the next time wouldn't be agonizing. As unconventional as it was they had finally made peace with each other, and old grievances were now truly behind them.

…

"She was in your room, when I went to see you," Colette told Kate in a low voice, when they finally had a quiet moment to themselves in the back galley. She had barely made it on the flight, nearly running into Dean and Kate in her haste as they were walking off the plane.

Dean had caught her up in a massive hug, despite the uniform. "Where have you been?" he asked, eyes boring into hers, his relief obvious.

Kate stood there, looking back and forth between the two of them. Colette met her eyes as she answered. "I ran into Bridget." She felt Dean's arms tighten around her, felt his heartbeat thundering in his chest and the question in his eyes, but she didn't have a chance to say more. Guilt clawed at her as she looked at him.

Maggie came up behind them. "God, Colette, what are you doing?" She pulled Dean and Colette inside so she could shut the door. "Come on. It's a 14-hour flight - there's plenty of time to snuggle later. Let's go."

"What did she want?" Kate asked, bringing her back to the present, the middle of their seemingly unending flight home from Tokyo.

Colette shook her head, gathering her thoughts. "She needed me to deliver a message to a French man, to keep someone from recognizing her."

Colette told Kate the rest of the information she'd learned from Bridget that afternoon, from her learning that Bridget was a spy, to her making friends over their Moscow trip.

"But why worry about a man she met while she was Elizabeth?" Colette asked.

Kate digested the information, not surprised, and knew Colette was due some kind of explanation. "There was a list of assets, about a year ago. Bridget's name was on it. She …compromised herself… to bring it to the market. To make sure it was in danger of falling into the wrong hands. It was the only way she could see to come out of hiding. To cease being Elizabeth."

Colette eyed at Kate suspiciously, thinking about what Bridget said, and how she'd been in Kate's room alone when she'd first seen her. "How do you know all of this?"

Kate's eyes widened meaningfully. She opened her mouth but didn't say anything. She didn't have to say anything, Colette already knew. Her eyebrows went up in question in Kate's direction, and her suspicious were confirmed with Kate's small nod of confirmation.

Kate carried on, her voice so low Colette could barely hear her. "Bridget's a free agent now, a double agent if she has to be, but she mostly works for our side."

"I couldn't do it, Kate," she told her. "Be careful," she said, giving her friend a hug.

"I will. And unlike Bridget, I'm not on my own." She thought of Richard, and the friends and colleges she'd made at Langley. She did spend a lot of time alone, but at least she had a small group who understood, looking out for her. And she'd still managed to maintain her friendships and her family. But Bridget was on a thrill-ride with no safety control. She was lucky to have gotten Colette to help her, but Kate knew it might not always work out so well.

Colette shook her head at her friend, baffled and astonished by the secret lives of Pan Am stewardesses. She was not without secrets of her own, she thought, looking toward the cockpit door and thinking about her husband, who was probably seething for as much as he was relieved to know that she was okay.

…

Dean didn't say much to her during the flight. They shared a handful of long looks, a few nods and one quick, surreptitious holding of hands, but it was a full flight and there was never really time to talk.

But once the door to their apartment closed behind them he turned to face her. She could see his left cheek ticking.

"What were you thinking?" He very nearly shouted the question at her.

"I was thinking that she needed my help," Colette said. "What was I suppose to do?"

"Not go off on your own with her. You could have been in danger."

"I probably was." She looked at him through crescent-shaped eyes, hands on her hips. "Unlike you I didn't know she was – _is _– a spy."

"I didn't know she still was. I thought she was done with that part of her life."

"Apparently not."

He let out a breath of air, put his hands on her shoulders and looked into her eyes. "I'm glad you're okay."

"Don't keep anything else from me," she told him, the anger and adrenaline rush draining leaving her tired and heavy.

"I won't."

She finally leaned against him and wrapped her arms around him tight. "Everything is fine."

"Don't disappear on me again," he told her.

"I promise."


End file.
